My last post was July 16th. Today is December 21st. And while the end of the world did not happen today (unless this is all a dream), five months have gone by and I really don't even know why I haven't written.
12 days after the last post, I met a man, J. I feel he needs recognition. I mean, my blog IS called Lisa, Love and Life, and I feel the love part hasn't been written about enough. Slow down, people. You know that by love, I usually mean the hot sex I have....uh huuuh. Ok, I laugh as I say that, but more so only because I wrote it. Back to J.....the meeting was, well, movie-esque, and here was a man, that really was my equivalent in the flirt department. Dayum. Chemistry. But more than that, this guy made me laugh. Like, really laugh. Like, everything we said to one another was funny, and it wasn't the Heineken talking. When you're hot and funny, well, dayum again. And in the male department, I have only been around few men like this. Ones that make you laugh, and, well, sparkle. And on July 28th, I really needed that. Here he was, with his adorable two friends, on a night I almost didn't even go out. He will be written about in greater detail one day. The story is just too much for this blog post tonight but it will make a great chapter in the book. Oh yes, the infamous book that has yet to see fruition. But when a story, well, a reality, happens like J, it cannot go without mention. I think I have worried him about this book, when he knows I am serious his name and events of that night will be included in my future work of art. Oh but we laugh about it, and actually still do. Five months later.
I have said to a few close friends recently, that is hard for me to believe when I am happy. Even if happiness comes in fleeting hours or lasts over just a day, or a night with this J fellow, a sense of forboding sometimes hovers around it and screams, "Lisa! How can you have happiness at a time like this?" At a time like what, I scream back, silently, of course, for I am luckily no where near crazy town (yet). But really, why can't I be happy, or better, why can't I be happy with small happiness?
Sometimes I catch myself remembering the days my babies were actual babies. I see that girl in the photos, 4, 5, 6 years ago, and sometimes wonder why I don't see that same smile much anymore. Yeah, shit has happened. Good God we know it has happened. My quest for love continues of course. But I have so much to be happy about even if the big everlasting committment or love hasn't happened yet. I have gone back to university, and with the first semester done, I really am proud to brag about my grades. Two kids and university. With my kids shouting out that I am a student like them.
It won't be with J, yes, I know this, sad but true, and the big everlasting committment or love might not happen or find me for quite some time. But I have men in my life as companions and friends, and sometimes the unlikely (ah, sweet young Tyler) become the very good friends that were never expected.
So if any of you were wondering where I have been, I am here. Still smiling as much as possible and trying to stay in the happiness moments. I am not one for many cliches, or mantras to help me move forward. To be honest, I'm kinda sick of those, haha. I read less of what people are saying out there, unless of course it makes me laugh a little more, and just try to focus on what I have versus what I don't have.
We're entering a new year. If anyone had warned me of what 2012 would bring or how fast it would go, I would have said, "nonsense". But here I am, writing about that nonsense now.
